i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i would punch a child for taco bell
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
