I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
did you just send me my own nude
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
