My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize