You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
