the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
