Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
