I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
