you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
