i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
