Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
