They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
