Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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