I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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