i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
