shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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