Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
