Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Randomize
