hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
