You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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