You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm both gender and math confused
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
