I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I don't think brook has ever known best
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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