He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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