Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
