Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
