Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
