But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
