Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
