I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
