were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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