he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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