she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
