dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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