She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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