Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
