Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Alive.
So much puke
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize