The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
