I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize