i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
