I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My vagina just recognized that song.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
