I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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