Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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