i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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