he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
