I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
