I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
