Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
