im gay
i know
yea but for you.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
