i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize