How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
