i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
