Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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