My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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