She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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