I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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