I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
