take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
the gays at disneyland are vicious
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
