I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
