it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
