I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
