So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
