Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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